So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
