bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
