that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
