I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
