Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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