Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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