She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sober January is a disaster.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
