The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize