it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
