At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
