So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
