On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
