i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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