plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
