maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
