Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
