I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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