We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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