What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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