It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
