ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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