Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
