I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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