Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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