i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
