i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
