hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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