twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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