Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
