I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i dont even know how to be here
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
