shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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