like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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