Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
