Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
