Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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