Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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