They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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