OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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