my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize