where am i from again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
