I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
