worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
