Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize