Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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