sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
