You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was like eating out sand paper
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
