Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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