there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
