New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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