If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
