Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
