My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
