I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
