my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
