I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
