I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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