So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
