What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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