I don't think brook has ever known best
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
