He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
