Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I sprained my soul last night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I touched a dick in church today
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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