Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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