Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
