yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
