we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
