stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I came so hard my ears popped.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
