Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
