$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Randomize
