so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
